I just made out with a guy for $7.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
