It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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