belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
