Nicole vs. Life
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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