If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
