remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
