Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
