Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
