a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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