my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
