Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
