I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
