??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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