we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
