wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
