omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
