I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
