Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
