mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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