it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
