our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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