dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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