My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
