last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
