but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
