I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
