The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
