No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
