He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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