i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
