How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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