She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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