then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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