hell yes lets make some ravioli
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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