I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
