My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no you cant smoke seaweed
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
