he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it's like iHOP with fire
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
