do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
