Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
