Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
