Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
