You're my little dorito
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
