We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
