weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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