My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
