I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
