Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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