he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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