it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
