so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This is my gift to your gina
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
